So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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