worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
