you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
