Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize