I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
