he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
