Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
