There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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