I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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