yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize