Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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