We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
