so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
