my sisters under your porch take her home
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
