At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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