so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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