i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize