yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
