So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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