ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
