i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
