Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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