4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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