hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize