I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
