Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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