i need an iv and a liver transplant
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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