Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
