i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
