he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize