3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
