I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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