You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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