Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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