my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
