You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
