I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
