dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
