Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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