Me too!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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