so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
