ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She needs sedatives and a leash
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
