Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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