clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Houston, we have a squirter
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
