I think I died a long time ago.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize