Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
