If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
