when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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