One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
