sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
