Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
