i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
