i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
