It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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