we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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