I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
