can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize