Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
